As a close follower of business trends, I was examining a series of Federal Reserve graphs today charting the lengths and strengths of various recessions and subsequent recoveries throughout our country’s history.
Boring, I know. But something struck me in the midst of my macro-analysis:
Recent recoveries have been slow and weak, while economic recoveries in the mid-20th century were lightning-fast and vibrant.
How could this be? I’ll tell you.
Workers back then were allowed, nay encouraged, to drink at work. Employees often kept a full bar, or at the very least a bottle of single-malt openly in their offices.
“Stop me at three,” Man Men’s Don Draper cautioned his young secretary one morning, before launching into a series of Emmy Award-winning business activities.
The Golden Age of Advertising, as it was called, was not so-named because of the large piles of money they earned, but due to the golden hue of the various liquors stored in each office.
Workers were more motivated to come in to the office. Employees treated each other in a far more jovial fashion. Promotions were based on how well one could perform one’s duties while completely sloshed, not on today’s politically-correct quota systems.
Like drinking a gallon of water and taking a handful of aspirin to bounce back from a hangover, companies raised their stock prices and their spirits, floating on a rising tide of liquid jubilation.
Yet the practice of drinking at work today is widely frowned upon, leading to termination and occasionally litigation.
To be sure, heavy machine operators should think twice before getting sauced and driving off into the sunset, right into a school bus full of autistic children.
But office workers face no such danger, so I ask the question: Why not allow a reasonable drink or three at work?
Why not return to the days of alcohol-fueled trysts between co-workers, martinis at meetings and a more entertaining office environment?
Why not bring back the days of quick economic recoveries and happy workers?
Why not bring back brighter mornings and two-hour lunches, without the danger of immediate termination?
I’ll give you a hint: It has something to do with lawyers and our ever-protective but joyless government.
Ask your HR manager today!
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Chuganooga 
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